Early Morning Routine
At my very first baby shower, I received a card that said:
So you’re gonna be a parent?
Sleep. God must think you’ve had enough.
I laughed because it was funny but should have cried because now I know it to be true. I alluded to the exhaustion you feel after having a baby in my love letter to a new mom, but the unfair part is even after your tiny baby starts sleeping well, you’re still exhausted all the time. And then once they’re no longer babies, they get you up in the middle of the night for a variety of other reasons - my blanket fell off, come help me in the potty, I can’t find pink baby, my knee itches, I want water, I want an adult with me, I want to sleep in your room - no, no and H no.
I’ve always been one to love sleep, and sleep well. I remember getting into my sophomore college twin bed in the dorm at night and being so excited to be there. If I had known the sleep deficits I would have later in life, I’d a been in bed every chance I had. Party? Eh. Bar? Meh. Hot guy? Bleh. I obvi wasn’t going to marry him, so imma sleeeeeep! Even if I had this perspective back then, sleep isn’t like a bank account where you save up and can make withdrawals when you need it. It’s a fickle mistress that denies you time and time again when you’re a parent.
Thankfully, you learn to operate on very little sleep. Which is good because the more children you have, the more tired you become. However, the fog does lift slightly and you eventually start going to bed later than 9pm. Sometimes.
Now, I was born at 5:23am. I don’t know if birth time truly has any bearing on whether you’re a morning person or a night owl, but mine lines up. I am a morning person. I am fresh in the am. I can think. I’m cheery. I have ideas. On the flip side, I am dead at night. 8:30pm rolls around and I have showered and am on my way to bed if not there already. Texts go unanswered, emails go unread. Anything that requires creative thought or attention to detail must be tackled in the morning or it will tackle me. I once opened a 5 page preK enrollment form at 8:30pm and it almost broke me. The fact that Grizz took over is the only reason our daughter had a spot waiting for her this fall.
Despite my morning person-ness, I do not love waking up at the crack of dawn. Children, however, do. They love it so much. It’s like they couldn’t love anything more. I haven’t had to set an alarm for nearly 5 years. I am woken at 6am (or earlier) every.single.day. You gotta appreciate their commitment and consistency. All this talk of sleep (or lack thereof) is to tell you I’ve willingly been getting less of it lately. In an attempt to get a peaceful start to my day, I have finally decided to implement the strategy I scoffed at and ignored & absolutely refused to even consider for years: Wake up before your children do.
Enter horrified emoji face like a billion times in a row.
I know. BEFORE they wake up. Like BEFORE 5:30a. Like 5am or SOONER. What?! I read a blog and this one chick said you should practice this early morning ritual so your day isn’t happening AT you. Uh, my day is ALWAYS happening at me! We go from 0-90 in a split second with the first baby cry. If you too are done with starting your day in a frazzled state due to tiny human alarm clocks, consider waking early, like me. The night before you officially decide to implement this new strategy, you’ll feel so excited about the opportunity the next morning to read, write, pray, and possibly even enjoy a (hot) cup of coffee alone. The kids, though unaware of your early morning plan, will sense this excitement and rise to greet you. Like big time. Here’s the breakdown.
Day 1:
5am - wake and immediately hit snooze
5:08 - drag body out of bed
5:11 - use restroom and wonder why you got out of bed
5:15 - help 3 yr old in restroom (tinkle)
5:18 - help 3 yr old in restroom again (poop)
5:24 - hear baby wake and start babbling
5:30- hear hubby’s alarm go off
5:45 - help 4 year old in restroom (poop)
No reading, no writing, lots of pooping.
Camp chair isn’t awesome, but the gentle hum of the refrigerator is somewhat soothing.
The next day the baby will wake 3 minutes after you do. The day after that you will be hungover from your birthday dinner so you won’t even attempt waking early. Then finally, finally, you will have a morning when you get up easily and everyone else is still asleep! Because you don’t want to disrupt the homeostasis, you read by the light of the stove in a camp chair and forego the coffee because your Nespresso machine is the best, and loudest, appliance you’ve ever owned. You consider sitting in your attached garage for optimal light and noise levels, but summers in Houston have rendered that a no go. It’s not a perfect system, but hey! You DID IT!
Your newfound routine will occasionally get interrupted when:
Your kids get stomach bug (who wakes early after that?)
When you go out of town (who wakes early on vacay?)
When you get back home (who wakes early when recovering from vacay?)
Was that a child? Lamp be damned!!
Then finally, you’ll channel St. Catherine of Siena and start being brave about everything. You’ll roll outta bed, flip that living room lamp on NBD and start reading in full blown light. No camp chair here! I’m on the couch! And it’s bright! Despite your brazen, well lit behavior, it’s still 5 something in the morning. You’re sitting on a comfy couch and the house is quiet. You’ll startle yourself awake 10 minutes later because you fell asleep. Next time, consider a harder chair.
Despite the occasional fall back asleep-ness, I’ve had many successful mornings as of late & this is what actually goes down:
Wake
Consider putting on bra and brushing teeth. Every moment counts so decide to do neither.
Read daily readings on Laudate app and pray. Unlike bra and teeth, this is non-negotiable.
Read a few pages of an inspirational or motivational book like Perfectly Yourself - Matthew Kelly (sooo good) or Girl, Stop Apologizing - Rachel Hollis (also so good)
Write down some things I’m grateful for. These can be as simple as a good night’s sleep, or getting good mammogram results the day before.
Write down some affirmations - I’m a great mom! I love waking before my kids do! (You know, important stuff.)
Hear baby stir
Turn on coffee because now you have nothing to lose
Prepare kids’ breakfast snacks of milk and cheerios
Sit down and burn tongue because you’re trying too quickly to enjoy a few sips solo
Start your mom day
During Lent, I remember Matthew Kelly talking about the importance of three S words: stillness, solitude, and silence. I also remember laughing out loud because the only time I experience even 2 of 3 of those is when I’m asleep. All three are luxuries to a mom. However, when you wake before anyone else, you can experience all three, even if it is only for five minutes.
Disclaimer: If you have a teeny tiny baby, this is not for you. You are in desperate need of the fourth S, which is SLEEP. So sleep you should.
Benefits of reading in your closet - light undetectable to tiny humans and you can also take inventory of all your jeans.
When you intentionally give yourself some quiet time you will respond much better to diaper changing, Cheerio fetching, lunch packing or whatever else you’re called to do first thing in the morning. So whether you’re hiding out in plain sight or tucked away in your (cozy) closet, start your day in peace and you won’t end in pieces.
After all, Ben Franklin (sort of) said:
“Early to bed and early to rise makes a mom healthy, wealthy, and wise.”
