Ice Daze

There are a lot of two word combinations that elicit different responses in us as adults. Some bring a lot of joy:

• Semiannual sale

• Marry me?

• You’re pregnant!

And then once you're a parent, some bring less joy:

• Disney Channel

• It’s contagious

and the 2 that most recently rocked my world: 

• Ice Day: Is this some kind of joke? There will be weather today that will prevent us from going outside and leaving our house for an ENTIRE DAY?! This is Houston!  We always leave our house! What on earth could be so bad that I have to contain my two tiny children in it all day long?? See pic. That. That is what can bring an entire city that never gets ice or snow to its proverbial knees. To make matters worse, the declaration of Ice Day was swiftly followed by the soul crushing:

• School Closed: Ice Day & School Closed!! These 4 words in combination will strike fear in the heart of any parent. Now, I don’t have school aged children yet, but I have Mother’s Day Out aged children, one of whom just got a spot 2 weeks ago. For the first time in over 3 years I am childless 2X a week!! And it so happens that Ice Day is falling on one of those two precious days?!?!  

While commiserating with my mom friends via text, I thankfully found I was not alone in the cycle of playing, snacking, fighting, & time-outing. However, checking social media was a different story - while several of the posts were parents losing their minds with their kids at home, there were the occasional ones that really got me: 

"Finished this long awaited art project while being cooped up!" 

"Look at my adorable pet sitting quietly on my lap while I work from home!" 

"Catching up on my reading while the sleet peacefully pelts against my living room window!"

At one point when my children weren't climbing on me or yelling hangrily for more snacks, I drifted back to a time when I remember being bored while drinking beer on a patio on Memorial Day weekend. Bored. While drinking beer. Because we didn’t have anything else to do. An almost hysterical giggle started welling up in me and I could feel myself starting to come unhinged.  Who cares if you’re bored while you drink beer on a patio? You’re drinking beer on a patio!!

I even debated going to Chick Fil A to merely get out of the house but decided I wasn't going to be the pregnant chick who ended up on the evening news just cuz she really needed that waffle fry.  Or all the waffle fries. In the city.  So instead, I sniper ate a bag of Sour Patch Kids so I wouldn't have to share them with my actual kids, we made it til bedtime, and it wasn't so bad.

Then Ice Day #2 came and broke me.

If it were a play, it would go something like this: (I'm trying to attain the title of blogger, not playwright, so just go with it.)

Mommy Meltdown

by Jessica Grizzaffi

Int. Kitchen

Dinnertime, day 2 of being cooped up at home.

CASS

Mommy, I very feel like I want to go somewhere.

(Repeat at least eleventy billion times)

ELLIE

Whine, whine, cry, cry, whine, cry cry cry, whine.

(She can’t really talk yet but she probably very wants to go somewhere, too.)

BABY BOY IN UTERO

Unaware of the emotional storm brewing, tap dances aggressively on mommy's bladder.

Mommy, feeling tapped out already, notices as a result of ice storm, there is brown doo doo water dripping out of her faucets. Cass also notices this.

CASS

It’s brown, Ellie, like hot coffee! 

At this moment, Mommy thankfully hears Daddy’s key turning in lock. Daddy walks in and unfortunately responds poorly to concerned question Mommy asks about the doo doo water.  Mommy gets crazy eyes, drops F bomb (mostly under her breath) and exits kitchen. Daddy quickly recovers, hands Mommy his car keys as though approaching a rabid animal, and tells Mommy to go take a break. Mommy goes and sits in car, does the frustrated yell (pls see my initial post) & immediately bursts into tears. Mommy pulls it together (sort of), waves to the Rescue Rooter guy who is watching this meltdown from 2 driveways over, then goes to solo dinner half dressed in pajamas for a glorious hour alone.

End scene. 

Thankfully, God’s mercy exceeds His justice and school was open the next day. The mani-pedi I got after dropping off the kids was equally amazing.  So moms, soldier on, stay sane, and know you're not alone in this icy mother! 

The icicle that started it all.